'Hey, have you ever thought of becoming a dictator of some country and terrorizing its people for a few decades? Or dream of ruling the world by squelching free speech and crushing your enemies?' 'No, I don't think so.' 'No? Not even once?' 'No.' 'Come on, don't lie! Didn't your mother teach you not to lie? Everyone wants to rule the world. It is an inbuilt desire and everyone has illusions of grandeur and living in the lap of luxury. Don't feel embarrassed to admit it. There are few minds to which tyranny is not delightful. Who will say no to the delicious opportunity of becoming an emperor of a kingdom, own a few magnificent palaces, a set of luxury cars, a dozen private jets, swimming pools, sacks of gold and acquire a few other basic necessities if given a chance? Who cares about what the peasants and commoners think? Look, I can even coach you on how to become a dictator. Sounds interesting?' 'Hmm, I am still not sure.' 'No? Still can't decide? Really? That's too bad! Okay, then I will ask your neighbor if he is interested.' 'Hey, wait! Don't go away.' 'Aha, now I can see what you are thinking! I knew you would see the light. You want to know how to become a dictator, right? Then look no further. Everything you wanted to know about how to become a dictator, but were too embarrassed to ask is available right here in this concise guide. It contains the most comprehensive specifications and do's & don'ts for every aspiring dictator. There is no need to read thick boring books on history, communism, etc. So let us get started before somebody else beats you to it.'
Ladies and Gentlemen! Are you interested in the world's greatest and easiest job? Do you want a profession that is too good to be true? A career so unique that it prescribes no educational qualifications, age limitations, tough trainings, work timings, or mental and physical qualifications for the candidate. Secondly, no other profession on this planet has the freedom, flexibility, liberty, elasticity, autonomy, uniqueness, independence, excitement, thrill, adventure, ecstasy, and variety that this unbelievable job offers. Thirdly, there are no interviews required and the pay check can exceed a million dollars or more. Forget the dull jobs that require you to slog 24x7 with eternal headaches like bad bosses, bad colleagues, office politics, recession, downsizing, outsourcing, etc, etc. And there is absolutely no catch. Sounds interesting? No, I am not kidding. Honest, such a job does really exist! All right, tell me what it that job. Simple, just become a Modern Artist. Hmm, okay, but how do I become one? Good, I thought you would never ask that question. Now let me enlighten you on how to become a modern artist and what great art is all about. Just sit on this artistic stone chair and listen carefully. And watch out for those sharp nails on the cushion.
Have you ever blamed or criticized God for something bad that happened to you? Do you feel like confronting and taking Him to task for all the rubbish that is happening around? Then look no further. Just become an atheist. But isn't that something to do with not believing in god? Yes, of course. But how will that help? Well, becoming an atheist has several advantages. Firstly, you can quickly become famous. If you take the traditional route of becoming famous by believing in god it may take a long time, and there is no guarantee because gods are not very generous with boons nowadays. Secondly, as an atheist you are free from everything. You can now make fun of religious people, live life anyway you want, have no fears of punishment in hell, automatically become a scientific person, commit sins freely, don't have to blame god for anything, get noticed in a crowd, etc. And you can also lambast god freely without any guilt or bad feelings.Aha, you are now curious to know how to become an atheist, right? Then look no further. Everything you wanted to know about how to become an atheist, but were too embarrassed to ask is available right here in this nutty book. It contains the most comprehensive specifications and do's & don'ts for every aspiring atheist. So let us get started before god accidentally appears before you and spoils your plans.
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